Monday, June 17, 2013

15 Obvious Signs You Need To Break Up With Him



Show of hands: Whose dated a guy they knew was not The Right One? And then continued to date him because it was too hard to cut him lose?

Don't feel bad if you've done this. We all have, me included. Back the 90s, for nearly four years, I dated a guy I knew was waaaaaaay wrong for me. Why didn’t I send him packing sooner? Well, I was in my early 20s, I was naïve (AKA stupid), I never broke up with anyone before and he bought me a crap ton of clothes and gifts which were, I supposed, meant to make me like him more, so I kept him around.

I know. I know. I was cowardly, deceitful and awful but part of the reason I didn’t break up with him sooner was because the alternative was so, so, so, so much worse – and I’m not referring to being single and alone. I’m referring to the way he played the “woe is me” card and freaked out every time I started hinting about going our separate ways.

So I did nothing, because in my mind, hanging out with some dude I wasn’t particularly into was better than watching him have a meltdown and turn our lives into a week-long horror movie.

But that was 21 year old me. Almost 50 year old me would never tolerate stunts like that. Now what about you? Regardless of your age, are you wasting your time in a relationship you’re not particularly fond of? Are you thinking it's time to part ways?

Here are 15 signs you're wasting too much time on Mr. Wrong. If many of them seem familiar, you may want to consider changing your Facebook status to "Single" sooner rather than later.

1) You have the urge to flirt with other men or you regularly DO flirt with other men.

2) His head is so far up his mother’s ass you can’t tell where she ends and he begins.

3) You’re convinced you like him but don’t love him. On second thought, you don’t love him and you don’t like him all that much either.

4) He’s got so many annoying habits that it makes your head feel like it's going to spin in a full circle then POP RIGHT THE HELL OFF.

5) His nickname should be Mr. Temper Tantrum, Party Animal or The Whiner.

6) Scrubbing the toilets with your toothbrush seems more pleasurable than having sex.

7) When you do have sex, your only thought is, “Let’s get this over with” – unless you’re pretending he’s someone else.

8) After dating for two weeks he proposed and whipped out a $12,000 diamond engagement ring.

9) You’re convinced your stomach ulcer would finally heal if he wasn’t around.

10) You can’t quite understand the logic behind his secretive tendencies, but deep down you know none of it is good.

11) Your friends refer to him as a greedy, finger licking runt, or something similar.

12) His clothes look like they came from a Goodwill reject box or the International Shop of Tight Ass.

13) You’re simultaneously reeling from the stench of his body odor and the cheap cologne he douses himself with.

14) When he loses his temper, his behavior can be summed up in three words: SCARY AS HELL!

15) He arrives at your apartment early to pick you up for a date, says he’s going to get gas in his car while you finish getting ready, takes your apartment key, makes a copy for himself without your permission and then regularly goes through your stuff when you’re not home. (Soooooo yeah, that happened to me and it's the reason why I finally dumped Mr. Woe Is Me.)

Have you ever dated Mr. Wrong for way to long?



Thursday, June 13, 2013

Justin Bieber Needs To Stop Effing Up and Start Growing Up



I'm sick of hearing about Justin Bieber’s idiotic behavior. You're sick of hearing about Justin Bieber’s idiotic behavior. We're all sick of hearing Justin Bieber’s idiotic behavior and we can't escape Justin Bieber’s idiotic behavior because everywhere you go on the Internet, there it is, all pressed up against your FACE: Justin’s Bieber’s goddamned idiotic behavior.

So of course today we’re going to talk about Justin Bieber’s idiotic behavior and the myriad of assholey things he’s done the first five months of this year:
 
January 2013 – The Bieb’s year begins on a high note – literally --when TMZ publishes pictures of him smoking what looks to be marijuana. A few hours after the pics appeared, Biebs tells us via Twitter “Everyday growing and learning. trying to be better. u get knocked down, u get up.” We hope he learned a lesson, but… 

February 2012 – After having a pissy fit when he wasn’t nominated for a Grammy, Justin boycotts the awards ceremony and tries to siphon viewers from the show by promising a Ustream for fans that same night. Uh, like whatever. Technical difficulties and more pouting ensue and the Grammy Awards pulls down their second largest audience in 20 years. 

March 2013 – This month the trouble starts in London where Biebs was to play four sold out shows. First there was that infamous “worst birthday ever" where JB dropped $20,000 on a 19th b-day celebration that he managed to enjoy for 5 minutes. Turns out the swanky London club where he scheduled the par-tay doesn’t allow underage guests even if they are Bebliebers. Oh, and they didn’t like the way his guests filled the club with the stench of pot either. After an altercation with security, Justin spent the night consoling himself at McDonald’s and then hanging out at a “weak ass” club. Poor him.

Not long afterwards, Justin angered loyal fans when he arrives two hours late for a concert. Two nights later he faints on stage and is briefly hospitalized. While in the hospital he posts a seemingly endless stream of shirtless pictures...because? Because why? Just because.

The little shit tiny popstar pissed off even more people after making young fans wait three hours in the cold for a meet and greet then breezes by, barely acknowledging them. Ironically, he’s photographed wearing not one, but two Rolex watches.

There are few more altercations with photographers and a couple meltdowns before Bieber returns to California and finds himself in trouble with the police after a neighbor claims he had been threatened and struck him. 

April 2013 - Justin’s 14 week old pet monkey, Mally is confiscated at the airport after he fails to produce the necessary health certificate and registration papers. Am I the only one who thinks that Biebs is the last person who should own a monkey? The kid can’t be bothered to wear a shirt, for crying out loud.

There’s not much time to mope over lost monkeys because Swedish police discover a small amount of drugs (reportedly marijuana) and a stun gun on one of Bieber’s tour buses. Oh well. It’s on to Amsterdam where Justin visits the Anne Frank house and leaves a heartfelt message in the guest book: "Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber." Like seriously?! WTH? 

May 2013On tour in South Africa, Biebs posts a picture of himself tongue with his tongue out, hat backwards, enjoying a cold one (BEER!) while on safari
with a buddy. The drinking age in South Africa is 18 but that’s still not cool when you’ve got millions of Tween fans.  

Former NFL player Keyshawn Johnson chases down the Biebs and calls cops after he catches Justin driving like a bat out of hell, passing his car while he was driving through the gated neighborhood of Calabasas with one of his kids. Justin avoids any discussion with Johnson, makes like a pansy and hides in his house -- until later in the month when he hops on his Segway, lights a joint and cruises the neighborhood with a buddy. Classy.

At the Billboard Music Awards, Justin gets booed during his acceptance speech. Mean? Yes, but that’s show biz. Instead of manning up, Biebs pulls the “"I'm just a wittle boy" card and gets whiny. Again. The audience members at the Billboard awards aren't the only ones annoyed at the Bieb. Jon Bon Jovi reads all of our minds when he calls him “an asshole” for disrespecting his fans.

Meanwhile, woman Number 2 claims that Justin fathered her daughter. No word on whether or not it’s true but when there’s smoke, there’s fire. You know what I’m saying?

So, here's the question: What's next for this kid? Is he going to put down the dobe, put a shirt on, stop chugging beer, show up on time, quit whining and grow the hell up or is he crash and burn a la Lindsay Lohan?

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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Was Vigilante Mom Right To Publicly Shame Alleged Cheating Husband on Facebook?



If you have a Facebook account, chances are you’ve seen this picture and caption, compliments of a Pennsylvania mom who was traveling on a train:


If this is your husband, I have endured a 2 hour train ride from Philadelphia listening to this loser and his friends brag about their multiple affairs and how their wives are too stupid to catch on. Oh please repost...

Turns out, that woman, Steph Strayer, got her wish. The now-viral photo and its damning status has been shared nearly 200,000 times. The question is, did she do the right thing by sharing it? 

In my opinion, the answer is absolutely NOT. I know that’s a surprising response from someone who makes a living discussing other people and their ridiculous behavior online and recently posted about stupidity on Facebook, but this is different so hear me out.

There’s no word yet on if the man in the photo has been identified. What we do know about this story is…not very much. Which is why none of this sits well with me.

You don't need to read breaking news from the Bullshit Gazette to know that the entire post might be a steaming pile of crap. Although I'm cringing -- like full body cringing -- for anyone who had to listen to that conversation, you have to consider other possibilities. Like maybe that guy was taking part in obnoxious but fabricated bragging with his buddies. Or he was in on the joke. Or maybe it wasn't a joke at all. Maybe he's got an ex who plastered him all over the internet because she has a pissy vendetta against him.

There is, of course, the chance he really is a lowlife, scumbag cheater but put yourself in his wife’s shoes. Finding out your husband is cheating is bad enough. Having your Facebook acquaintances forward the photo to you AND share it online would completely suck. A LOT.

It's pretty creepy that we live in an era where a snapshot of our behavior can easily be judged and shamed on Facebook. It's one thing when someone chooses to share details of their life on social media sites and receives unwanted criticism as a result. It’s a whole different ballgame when a person having a private conversation -- however distasteful that conversation may have been – becomes a trending news topic, compliments of a cellphone camera.

From what I’ve seen on Facebook, there are a lot of people supporting this woman's decision, but honestly, that freaks me out. The post is intrusive, and without any validity. In some ways, sharing stuff like that can be dangerous. Like if she had written that she overhead him talking about being a pedophile. Just the thought of vigilante justice doled out over an unverified Facebook post is enough to give me a little pants filling terror.

So I have to ask: If you were seated by several men boasting about their sexual conquests or cheating on their wives, what would you do? Would you ignore them? Move to a different seat? Ask them to dial down the jackassery? Or would you secretly take a picture and post it on social media sites, along with a plea to share and humiliate them for their supposed actions? 

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Monday, June 10, 2013

15 Things Love Is And All Of Them Happened This Weekend




Love is...A night out with good friends.



Love is...THIS!




Love is...Finding your soul mate and starting your life together.



Love is...Reminiscing with the guy who coached you in Little League.



Love is...Having friends who are like family.



Love is...Girlfriends!





Love is...Sharing a laugh.



Love is...Cookies!


Love is...Proud parents (and your brother.)



Love is...Dude friends.



Love is...Having a pseudo sister and growing up together.



Love is...Your BFF.



Love is...Playing cornhole with your buddies. (Who doesn't love cornhole?!)


Love is...A kick ass volleyball game.



Love is...Your 5th plate of food.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Silver Sky Imports: Tibetan Singing Bowls, Himalayan Salt Lamps and Gongs

"Being a good writer is 3 percent talent and 97 percent not being distracted by the internet."  -- Anonymous

I can't tell you how many times I've sat down intending to work for hours only to be distracted by things I stumbled on while doing online research. Here's some cool stuff I came across last night at Silver Sky Imports:


Small Tibetan Singing Bowl
Tibetan Singing Bowls - I bet you're wondering what a Tibetan Singing Bowl is.  Simple answer: A metal or crystal bowl that is actually a type of bell.

Singing bowls are popular in Asia where they are used by health professionals, musicians and spiritual teachers for meditation, music, relaxation and personal well-being. They are also used to signal the beginning and end of meditation.

Singing bowls  can be "played" by striking the rim of the bowl with a mallet or by rubbing a mallet around the rim of bowl to make a beautiful "singing" sound.

They are available in several styles and sizes, are usually made from brass or crystal and range in price from $35 to $300.

Gongs - We all know what a gong is - a musical instrument which is most commonly used in movies to give the impression of fear and horror. If you're over the age of 40, you probably remember The Gong Show, that amateur talent contest where contestants who didn't measure up were "gonged."

I bet you didn't know you could actually own your own gong. You can use it to bring some Asian influence into your home or to call your family to dinner.  (Just try to keep the kids from playing with it!)

Himalayan Salt Lamps - A salt lamp is a lamp craved out of a large salt crystal. They are sold either in their natural state or carved into pyramid, heart, teardrop or other unusual shapes.
 
Heart shaped salt lamp.

Salt lamps produce a soft glow when a bulb or candle is placed inside. They are typically used as nightlights or to create mood lighting. Some mystics believe they help to remove negative energy from your home and can help you feel calmer and more relaxed.  Most sell for about $45.

Are you frequently distracted by online sights while working on the computer? Have you ever stumbled onto an internet sight by accident and learned something new or discovered an unusual product?

Have a great weekend!