I confess, I don’t really like Thanksgiving and I’m not sorry.
As far as holiday’s go, Thanksgiving isn’t all that. Halloween is about dressing up in a cool costume, going to parties and sharing candy. Oh, and let’s not forget the spookiness, which is awesome! Christmas is happy songs, cookies and gifts. Hello, YES! But Thanksgiving is…food, family and football which to me is the equivalent of indigestion, frustration and a snoozefest.
Thanksgiving is not, and never has been, a favorite of mine. Here’s why:
Forced thankfulness. Look, I’m already thankful for plenty of things. As a matter of fact, I keep a thankfulness journal in a document on my computer. In it, I record the things I’m thankful for because – in case you haven’t noticed – I have a tendency to be bitchy and complain-y. Forcing myself to look at the good things I have is necessary. Otherwise, I would spin off into even more frequent and dramatic depressive episodes.
So yes, I’m all for being grateful. At the sake of sounding corny, I try to be grateful every day of the year and not just when I’m sitting around the table with family and required to give a trite reason before I can eat.
The food. I really, really don’t like Thanksgiving food. If you looked at my plate, you’d see a small slice of turkey, which I most likely won’t eat, a couple dinner rolls and buttered corn. If the Thanksgiving meal consisted of pizza, spaghetti, chicken wings and shrimp scampi, I’d be all over that. But turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce…meh…I’ll pass. And let me ask you this: If that stuff is so good, how come we don’t eat it any other time of the year?
It’s too close to Christmas. Since we must do Thanksgiving, why not do it in June or August? Having to see extended family just month before you see them again for Christmas is a bit much in such a short period of time. Not because I don’t like spending time with them but because we because we go for a span of about 6 months of not seeing them in the middle of the year. Then there’s the way we must travel in treacherous weather two months in a row.
Family considerations aside, retailers have turned Thanksgiving into nothing more than a materialistic profit-generating shopping holiday, not a time to enjoy with your family and friends. If we separate it from Christmas, we can squash that bullshit and turn Thanksgiving back into the day it was meant to be.
Football. I cannot muster up even two figs of a fuck to give about football any time of the year, let alone on Thanksgiving.
The Colors. Maybe I’m being a tad nitpicky but the colors associated with Thanksgiving – orange, brown, gold and rust-- are ugly. Because they remind me of the Brady Bunch (anyone remember their orange kitchen countertop?) and all the other decorating trends of the early 1970s, I don’t want to deck my house out with them. I know plenty of people enjoy the beauty of fall leaves and gourds but give me some happy reds and basic navy’s please.
It’s sort of a lie. We all learned that heartwarming story in elementary school about the how the pilgrims and Native Americans sat down to a delicious harvest dinner…except that it’s not really true. No one ate turkey. Instead, they feasted on passengers pigeons stuffed with chunks of onions and herbs -- which is kind of gross – but they also ate lobster, clams and mussels. The actual meal didn’t take place in November, but in October and Squanto was a Wampanoag who was kidnapped, brought to Europe and then found his way back to the Americans to work as a translator. Poor Thanksgiving. The whole holiday is nothing more than a fairytale.
Shopping madness! By now, you all know where I stand on Black Thursday and Black Friday shopping. Honestly, everyone needs to seriously chill out with all the standing in line at 4 am to buy toys and electronics. Over the years, Thanksgiving has morphed into nothing but a day to stuff your face before beginning your shopping frenzy. The thing is, it’s supposed to be about family. Kind of sad to see a major holiday being co-opted by the retail industry.
I realize I’m probably in the minority with my Thanksgiving dislike, as everyone I know loves Thanksgiving with every ounce of their soul. But whatev. That’s just me. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd.