10 Fifty Shades of Grey Fibs I’m Just Not Believing

Love it or hate it, this summer you can’t get away from Fifty Shades of Grey. Last week I was at the pool and counted 12 people reading the book -- a book which happens to tell an embarrassing number of lies about sex.

Yes, I know it’s fiction and only meant to be entertaining but sometimes I'm thinking this trilogy may give some women unrealistic expectations when it comes to enjoying themselves in the bedroom (or…uh…the Red Room of Pain).

Here are the top ten sex fibs I noticed throughout the series:

1. Your man automatically knows your wants and needs. Have you noticed Christian never asks Ana what she likes or wants? He just knows. In real life, what man is such an amazing lover that he always gets it right? Maybe in Ana’s world love equals perfect sex Every. Single. Time. In the real world…not so much.
2. You’ll always be in the mood when you meet The One. Ana never has cramps.  Or a headache. Or just wants to sleep. Yeah, that's just sooooo realistic.
3. Women can have a G-spot/vaginal orgasm every time. Is there any real woman who has orgasms which remotely resemble Ana’s? Geesh, what a fairy tale!
4. It's possible climax on demand. And at the same exact time as your partner. Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! Every woman can do that!
5. Loving a guy means you’ll automatically take to the fetishes he’s into.  If this were true, there would be no internet porn.
6. Experimenting with BDSM means you are psychologically damaged. Or it could just mean you’re curious or adventurous.
7. Energizer Bunny sex is totally doable. Ever notice how Ana never gets sore? Or how Christian can get it up minutes after completion? Okaaaay….yeah….sure.
8. Women become horny only after they fall in love. Sweet, virginal Ana never had a sexual thought until she fell in love with Christian. And then she turned into a crazy, rampant sex fiend who was totally in touch with her “inner goddess.” Rrrrright.
9. A naïve virgin can be converted into a submissive woman with hardly any effort. Christian introduces Ana to BDSM practices early in their relationship -- and she’s game. You know, just like any woman would be.
10. A man can be "fixed" with sex and real love. By showing Christian real love, Ana transforms him from a deviant into an adoring, monogamous hubby. Pleeease! As any woman knows, it takes much more than love to change a majorly screwed-up guy.  Sometimes tons of love plus years therapy still can't fix everything that's wrong.

Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey yet? What did you think? You might also be interested in reading Fifty Shades of Grey vs. a Woman's Real First Time.


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