Note to Senior Citizens: You Don't Own The Church Pew!

With work and Justin's baseball and all the other wife/mom things I have to do, an afternoon at the pool is a rare treat, but last week I managed to squeeze in a quick trip.

On that particular day I had two hours, from noon to 2 pm, to relax in the sun. I got to the pool at around 11:50. Although that particular public pool doesn’t “officially” open until noon they will allow you to go in a few minutes early, set up your chair or towel and hang out in the grass until the lifeguards go on duty at noon.

Like any pool, there are long, flat areas and no one spot is better than any other. They’re all exactly the same so it wasn’t like I looking for the “best” spot or that there is even a “best” spot. I just plopped my chair down in a random location.

A few minutes after I sat down, two older ladies came in and set their chairs down beside mine. No…more like right on top of mine. Like so close I could hardly straighten my legs without bumping their chairs.

This didn’t make sense because the pool was empty except for me, the lifeguards and those two ladies. They could have sat anywhere. But instead they sat RIGHT THERE, on top of me. It was inconvenient and ridiculous and cramped and rude and I (nicely) said, “Can you please move your chairs over a few inches?”

What I expected to hear was “Oh, we’re sorry” as they moved a little to one side or the other. You know, because that would have been the polite thing to do. What those two older women said to me was, “We’ve been coming to this pool every day for 20 years and this is where WE ALWAYS SIT. This is OUR SPOT!”

And they did not say it in a polite tone of voice. At. All.

I didn’t respond because (1) I was shocked by their outburst and (2) it was clear there would be no reasoning with those women.

Of course I could have picked up my chair and moved because there were plenty of other places to sit. But I can be stubborn and I have this problem where I don’t always take the high road. I know I'm going to get some flack for that, but hear me out: I was there first, I was minding my own business, it was a public pool, I didn’t disturb anyone and they the ones who choose to put their chair on top of mine when there was like a million feet of empty grass everywhere else.

So I sat there and acted like I didn’t care that the three of us looked silly with our chairs piled on top of one another and all the while I was thinking OMG! Is it really important that they sit in THAT SPOT?

Then when I rolled over or got up from my chair, I just happened to kick one of theirs. Not intentionally but because they were so damn close to me it couldn’t be helped.

I also managed to overhear several of their conversations. Once again, not because I wanted to but because no way I could NOT hear them speak since they were practically sitting on my lap and because they were making comments they wanted me to hear. Things like:

I wish that girl would stop kicking my chair.

Young people have no respect.

Why would SHE sit THERE?

We’ve been coming to this pool for so long, EVERYONE knows this is where WE always sit.

My neck is sore. It’s probably from getting my chair kicked every two minutes.

Her neck was sore? From me kicking her chair?! Give me a break. It wasn’t like I was winding up, taking aim and giving it my best shot-- although I admit, it was tempting. Especially because they reminded me of the mean kids in the high school cafeteria who act like they “own” a certain lunch table. You know, the ones who only let certain “cool” people sit there, bully the nerds and make fun of everyone else. Except they were grown women.

And here’s the best/worst part: I also learned they were two bitter school teachers from a neighboring community who spent the majority of their careers frustrated that they didn't get any respect from the students they taught. They told one tale after another about “bad” kids in their classes and their rude, unappreciative parents.

While I’m sure there was SOME merit to SOME of those stories, most of the details they were sharing (NAMES!) shouldn’t have been discussed in public. It was waaaaaaayyyy more than I needed and wanted to hear and a total “Hello, pot? This is kettle” moment.

I spent my allotted two hours at the pool and when I started to pack up at 2 pm, both women made a point to turn around stare at me with evil, icy glares.

Perhaps that was parting reminder that I ruined their day at the pool by not moving. Or a silent threat to not sit there again. I don’t know for sure but I think maybe they were trying to provoke me into saying something because based on their stories, they seemed to enjoy confrontation. Except that I wasn’t going to play that game.  Oh no! Not this girl! I left without acknowledging them -- but had I stooped to their level, here’s what I would have said:

FYI – You don’t own the church pew or that one particular booth at the diner or a certain section of the lawn at the pool. None of those things are “yours” just because you happen to be older, frequently occupy the space and have declared ownership. Although you may not like it, anyone can sit there whenever they want. And they should be able to do it without being bitched at, disrespected or having to endure dirty looks and nasty comments.

It’s no wonder our schools have a bullying problem when women like you – TEACHERS! – act like that. If you want R-E-S-P-E-C-T from younger people or ANYONE, you’ve got to show R-E-S-P-E-C-T and kindness and treat people of all ages the same way you want to be treated. YOU should know THAT.

PS – Was it necessary to spend an afternoon making fun of former students? Would it have killed you to move over a few inches? And what was the deal with the dirty looks?

Have any of you ever experienced anything like that? 

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