Church Group Keeps Alleged Murderer's Confession Secret for Two Decades

Have you ever heard the old saying, "If you see something, say something." In a nutshell, it means when you see or hear something that is just plain wrong, it’s your responsibility to do something about it.

So what happens when you hear something like a murder confession?  Do you speak up or keep the info to yourself?  What if that confession is  from Pedro Hernandez, a man who claims to have kidnapped and killed a little boy named Etan Patz.  Ethan Patz, if you are not familiar, is famous as the first “boy on the milk carton”.  The search for him became one of the largest, longest-lasting hunts for a missing child in America's recent history.

Ideally, any good citizen who heard a murder confession wouldn’t hesitate to notify law enforcement -- because it’s the right thing to do, because it may solve an unsolved disappearance and because it could keep a potential murderer from harming anyone else.

Common sense, right?

Wrong.

Apparently good citizenship and common sense did not apply to the members of a prayer group at St. Anthony of Padua Roman Catholic Church in Camden, NJ in the early 1980s.

Recently, members of the group told The New York Times that they didn't believe it was "their place" to inform law enforcement of a confession they allegedly heard from Hernandez during a group meeting several decades ago.

Just so you know, I am not picking on a religious group (Religious groups/churches seem to get touchy when you disagree with their beliefs.  Check out the scathing comment at the end of this blog: Baseball Team Refuses to Play a Girl: Have They Disrespected All Girls?)

What I am doing is pointing out that these people let a man who may have been a deranged killer confess and then walk right out the door.  Honestly, I don’t care if they were a prayer group, a Girl Scout troop or members of the Grand Poobahs. Turning a deaf ear when someone confesses to a murder (A murder!) is THE definition of wrong.

Every member of the prayer group who heard Hernandez’ confession should be ashamed of themselves.  And then ashamed some more.  Not speaking up wasn’t just wrong, it was selfish, inconsiderate and dangerous.

If those folks had discussed what they had heard with law enforcement and IF Hernandez had committed the crime (at this writing, he has confessed but has not yet been convicted) they may have taken a murderer off the streets and protected the hundreds of children he encountered over the years. You know, like their own grandchildren, nieces, nephews and neighbors.  Oh, and they would have given Etan Patz’ parents some type closure, instead of forcing them to spend decades wondering what happened to their little boy. Can you even imagine that agony?

Had they reported his confession to the police, what is the worst that could have happened?  Hernandez would have been forced to talk to police about it.  If he hadn’t committed the crime, an investigation may have cleared him.  But what if he really did do it... 

Would you be unwilling to turn him in just because you wanted to stay in “your place?”  I can say without hesitation that I would have immediately called the police.  I may be shy, quiet and introverted but I’m not afraid to speak up when something seems very wrong.

Do you agree with the way the prayer group members handled the situation?  What would you have done?  Want to discuss?  Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.

Bad Sportsmanship: Behavior Parents, Coaches and Players Should Avoid

Last weekend Justin kicked off his summer baseball season.  Because he’s playing for two different teams in two different states, we had the opportunity to watch about 15 baseball games in three days.  Some he played in and some were random games we caught while he was warming up.

The good news:  We saw a lot of great baseball.  Being a HUGE baseball fan, I love that! The bad news:  We saw a lot of bad sportsmanship from parents, players and coaches.  Being a HUGE baseball fan, I hate that!

Based on what we saw, I put together a list of do’s, don’ts for anyone watching, playing and coaching baseball.

Photo Credit: Fotopedia

For coaches:

You are a coach first and a dad second.  Having the title of manager or coach means you are there to guide your team, not just your son.  No special treatment for your kid.  It’s just not cool.

If your son is struggling, pull him.  That means if he’s made numerous fielding errors, hasn't had a hit in four games, makes poor decisions while running the bases or walked too many batters, he needs to come out of the game.

Do not allow your team to heckle the other players.  Believe it or not, I saw WAY to much of this over the weekend when a group of high school players heckled players from the opposing team during the game.  Even worse, the coaches initially did nothing to stop it and threw a few verbal jabs of their own to parents who were complaining.

Lead by example. Show respect to the players, parents, umpires and other coaches. Arrive on time and work hard. At the beginning of the season, clearly outline to players and parents the types of behavior which is not acceptable and the consequences for violating the rules.

For parents:

Your son’s performance on the field is not linked to your own self-esteem. Chances are your son is playing baseball because he loves the sport and wants to spend time with his buddies.  He is most likely not on the field because he’s trying to live out your dreams of being a star player.

If he missed two fly balls during a game it doesn’t mean you’re a bad dad.  As a matter of fact, it doesn’t reflect on you at all.  Unless you decide to scream and humiliate him for making a mistake.  Do that and we're all going to think you're a major jerk-wad.

Stop whining about playing time.  Playing time is important, especially for younger kids who are learning the game but at a certain point - starting around middle school - the goal of a good coach is to put the best kids on the field. This is especially true in high school when some players are competing for college scholarships and need to be seen by scouts.

If your kid isn’t starting every game or playing as much as you’d like, don’t whine about it.  Instead, calmly talk to the coach about what your child needs to improve, identify his weaknesses, enroll him in a baseball camp or consider having him play on a recreational league where starting positions are less competitive.

Don't equate fundraising to playing time.  Maybe your son sold more hoagies and raised more money than anyone else on the team. Perhaps you organized the booster meetings and led every committee. That’s great!

All that hard work means more equipment and better facilities for the team.  It does not mean your kid deserves a starting position or more playing time over the other players who didn't raise as much dough. While a good coach won't allow that to happen, there are, sadly, many who will.

Leave the umpires alone. They’re not perfect and they make mistakes.  Sometimes they make A LOT of mistakes.  Yelling at them when you don’t like a call isn’t going to change the call. Seriously, how many times have you seen a ump change a call because a parent screamed about it?  Use your energy to cheer on the team and send positive encouragement.

For Players:

Show respect for the game. That means nor criticizing the umpire if you don’t like a call, not throwing your helmet or bat when you’re mad, not swearing, not fighting, not talking back to your coaches and no laziness.

Work hard.  Show up early to games and practices and give a 100 percent at all times. Keep your uniform neat and clean. Work hard, hustle on and off the field and play each game as if it’s the World Series.  Oh, and don’t wear your baseball cap sideways like a gansta'.  Just don't.

Lose the attitude. It doesn’t matter if you hit a grand slam, three home runs and racked up a ton of RBIs, when the game is over you can rake the field and pick up the equipment like everyone else.

Justin’s team at Marietta won the college World Series last year and is currently playing for another title but after EVERY game EVERY player is put to work putting away equipment, cleaning the dug outs and prepping and tarping the field.  No exceptions.

Be a team player.  Heckling the players on the opposing team is bad enough, heckling your own teammates is worse. If you see someone struggling, help them. Remember, baseball is a TEAM sport.

Do you have anything to add to the list or do you disagree with any of my choices? If you could, please take a moment and send your thoughts to a player who reportedly broke his neck playing in the Division III college World Series on Monday against Marietta.

As always, you can friend me on Facebook and find me on Twitter.

Memorial Day: 20 Historical Facts You Probably Didn't Know

Happy Memorial Day (a day early!)  Have you ever wondered about the true meaning behind this celebration?

Yes, it’s signals the start of summer and no, it was not intended solely as a day off work to par-tay or shop the Memorial Day sales.

Memorial Day is about honoring those who gave their lives in service.  It’s been celebrated since 1868 and is so much more than just a long weekend to kick off summer. Read on to learn more about this national holiday.

Memorial Day is a day of remembrance of those who died serving our country. It began as a way to honor the 620,000 soldiers who died in the Civil War.

In 1864, women from Boalsburg, Pennsylvania, put flowers on the graves of their dead from the just-fought Battle of Gettysburg. The next year, a group of women decorated the graves of soldiers buried in a Vicksburg, Mississippi, cemetery.

Because of the practice of decorating soldier’s graves with flowers, the holiday was originally known as “Decoration Day.” Flowers and flags remain the two most popular items people use to remember soldiers.

The name Memorial Day can be traced back to 1882, but the original name was used until after World War II. Federal law declared "Memorial Day" the official name in 1967.

On May 30, 1868, President Ulysses S. Grant presided over the first Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery -- which, until 1864, was Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee's plantation.

The principal speaker at the first Memorial Day recognition was James A. Garfield, a Civil War general, Republican congressman from Ohio and future president.

New York was the first state to official recognize Memorial Day. Waterloo, New York, began holding an annual community service on May 5, 1866. Although many towns claimed the title, it was Waterloo that won congressional recognition as the "birthplace of Memorial Day."

The south refused to honor the dead on Memorial Day until after World War I when the meaning of Memorial Day changed from honoring soldiers who died in the Civil War to honoring all Americans who died fighting in any war.

Memorial Day was declared a federal holiday in 1971.

Red Poppies are recognized as the Memorial Day flower.

The practice of wearing red poppies on Memorial Day began in 1915 and was inspired by the poem “In Flanders Fields” by Moina Michael:

We cherish too, the Poppy red

That grows on fields where valor led,

It seems to signal to the skies

That blood of heroes never dies.

Since the late 1950s on the Thursday before Memorial Day, approximately 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place American flags at over 260,000 graves at the Arlington National Cemetery.

Beginning in 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at the Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery.  This practice continues to this day.

Starting in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at over 15,000 grave sites of soldiers buried at Frederidksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park at Marye’s Heights. This is known as the Luminaria Program.

On Memorial Day the American flag is raised briskly to the top of the staff and then solemnly lowered to the half-staff position, where it remains only until noon. It is then raised to full-staff for the remainder of the day.

At 3pm on Memorial Day all Americans are asked to voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a moment of remembrance & respect by pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to taps.

Because Memorial Day is generally associated with the start of the summer season, it is the most popular way to celebrate is with a barbeque.

For over 100 years, the Indianapolis 500 has been held conjunction with Memorial Day, running on the Sunday preceding the Memorial Day holiday. The Coca-Cola 600 stock car race has been held later the same day since 1961 and the Memorial Tournament golf event has been held on or close to the Memorial Day weekend since 1976.

The National Memorial Day Concert is held each year on the west lawn of the United States Capitol as a way to show respect to the men and women who gave their lives for their country.

In 2004 Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

How many of that Memorial Day trivia did you already know.  (I'm embarrassed to admit, prior to researching, I didn't know much!) Do you have any cool plans for the holiday like a picnic, a barbeque with friends, watching a parade or a trip to the cemetery?  Enjoy your day and stay safe. Friend me on Facebook and find me on Twitter to share your pictures or stories.

10 Memorial Day Quotes To Remember Our Fallen Heroes

Monday is Memorial Day. Most of us will be celebrating because summer is finally here (Yeah!) and we have the day off work.  Some of us will attend picnics with family and friends and others will be shopping those Memorial Day sales.

Regardless of your plans, please remember the true meaning of the day, which is to honor the servicemen and women who lost their lives while serving our country.

Take a moment to reflect on how they made our own lives better and helped make America an even greater place to live.

Here are a few quotes which honor our fallen heroes:                          

“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.” --  Thucydides, Ancient Greek historian and author, 460-404 BC.                                        

“That's what it takes to be a hero, a little gem of innocence inside you that makes you want to believe that there still exists a right and wrong, that decency will somehow triumph in the end” – Lise Hand

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." -- President John F. Kennedy

“Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored.” --Daniel Webster

“As America celebrates Memorial Day, we pay tribute to those who have given their lives in our nation's wars.” -- John M. McHugh

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.” -Joseph Campbell

“They fell, but o'er their glorious grave. Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.” -- Francis Marion Crawford

“For love of country they accepted death...” -- James A. Garfield

"The story of America's quest for freedom is inscribed on her history in the blood of her patriots."  -- Randy Vader, lyricist

“And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. -- Lee Greenwood

Happy Memorial Day!  How do you plan on spending the day? What are your favorite words which honor the men and women who have served our country?  Don’t be shy. Share your stories and add your own favorite quotes. And don't forget, you can friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter where I'll be updating with pics of our celebration.

See you all on Tuesday!

Another Reason to Love Jon Bon Jovi

True confession: I've never been a Bon Jovi fan.  While I don't rush to change the station when one of their songs comes on the car radio, I've never been “OMG I love Bon Jovi!”

I was also one of the few women who didn't find Jon totally hot. Especially when he looked like this:

Photo Credit: Lineout987

But lately I've been looking at him with different eyes.  First he posed for that beautiful Versace ad. Then he made that Advil commercial where he looks like a real 50 year old man who has aches and pains like the rest of us. Now there's news that he's opened a restaurant in New Jersey that puts other charity, celebrity spokespeople to shame.

Working with his wife Dorthea, Jon used his mega-millions and worldwide fame to start a foundation that has built nearly 300 homes for people who cannot afford them. As if that wasn't enough, in 2011 he opened a restaurant called Soul Kitchen. Soul Kitchen isn't just any restaurant. It's a pay-what-you-can venture which offers gourmet meals to people who can afford then and also to those in need.

The Red Bank, New Jersey restaurant - which features linens and silverware and not paper plates and plastic utensils - has no prices on the menu and allows diners to either leave money for their meal on the table or gives them the option to work in the restaurant in exchange for a voucher they can cash in for free meals.

Photo Credit: JBJsoulkitchen.org

How inspiring is that?

Yes, plenty of celebrities volunteer for various causes, make public service announcements, attend events and wear tee shirts supporting their favorite cause but how many actually put their money where there mouth is?

It makes me wish more of the rich and famous were like Jon and used their power and money in ways that can really make a difference in people's lives.

Raising awareness is good. Housing and feeding the hungry and homeless? That's absolutely unbelievably awesome.

It's also another reason to love Jon Bon Jovi (as if we needed one!)

What do you think of Jon's new charity? If you were rich and famous, how would you help those in need? Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter. 

What to see more hot rock stars? Check out The Hottest Guys of Rock.

Five Simple Things My Husband Can't Do

If you're a regular reader, you know that I love Bill for many reasons. You also know that there are times when he annoys the @#$% out of me, especially when it comes to helping around the house.

Today I considered writing a loving, heartfelt letter about how I could use some assistance with the chores but chances are my poetic prose would be misunderstood...and then ignored.

Again. And after another recent “discussion” on the division of housework, I'm not feeling very poetic.

Yes, I know I've written about this problem many times. Probably too many.  I haven't done it as a way to shame Bill (although after he reads a blog he does help out more around the house...for a few days.) I wrote those posts as a way to vent and read comments from other women experiencing the same thing.

The good news? Seems that I'm not alone in my husband frustration. The bad news? I still don't understand why helping to take care of the home is so difficult for some (most?) husbands.

Is there something in the male genetic code? Are men still feeding into silly stereotypes? Am I, in some way, still allowing Bill to get away with it?

I'm not sure exactly what the problem is, but there are some things that my husband won't do no matter how much I beg. Here's the top five:

Change the light bulb in the microwave. Or rather not make me ask 22 times that the bulb be changed.

Use cleaning tools. The vacuum cleaner. The broom. The dishwasher. A rag. Seriously, if I didn't live in this house, it would have been condemned a long time ago.

Listen when I speak. I wouldn't yell as much if he would just listen to me the first time. Honest.

Put things where they belong.  Bill is capable of putting things where they belong. He just chooses not to. The sweatshirt hanging off the kitchen chair, shoes at the bottom of the steps, the stack of junk he cleaned out of his car piled on the kitchen counter. You get the picture.

Follow directions. Of any kind.

What are a few things your husband can't do no matter how many times you ask? How is your husband with helping around the chores? Do you have any creative solutions on how to get mine to help out more?  Did you know there are 8 things you should never say to your husband?  Check them out here: 8 Things You Should Never Say To Your Husband.

A Super Moon and a Solar Eclipse! Are You an Astronomy Fan Too?

Did you see the Super Moon earlier this month?

I love astronomy, astrology and star gazing, which is why I was excited about the super moon earlier this month. But to be honest, I was kind of disappointed.

Why? Because on the night I looked, it was too cloudy to see much of the giant moon...and what I did see wasn't that impressive. Since then I've seen pictures of the super moon but they're just not the same as witnessing the real thing. I'm also a little jealous because those picture-takers had a great view and I didn't.

Anyway, as any astronomy fan knows,  there's something more exciting in on the horizon. On Sunday, May 20, 2012 there will be a solar eclipse, which is also referred to as the Ring of Fire.  If you aren't familiar with a solar eclipse, it is an event which blocks out most of the sun, leaving only a flaming, glowing ring of amazing-ness.

Yes, I am excited about this. I am an astronomy-loving nerd.

An "almost" solar eclipse.

If you're wondering if the Ring of Fire will bring doom, or bad luck or is signaling the end of the world, the answer is...maybe. (Astrology is complicated!)

There are some people who believe the super moon made their personal life go bonkers and that any full moon can cause crazy behavior in people and animals.

Some of those same people believe everything will go cuckoo on a global scale thanks to the solar eclipse (which will be in Gemini, if you were wondering.) They say that during the solar eclipse, while you may not have relationship drama, lose your job or fight with your neighbor, there is a more of a chance of a giant flood or other natural disaster occurring.

Of course, I can't decide whether or not if I believe that. One one hand, my daily horoscope can be spot on and the moon does have the ability to control the tides...BUT...most of the time my horoscope is ridiculous. Besides, life is short and I'm not going to dwell on doomsday theories and the threat of an epic worldwide disaster.

Because I love astronomy and astrology, I have a lot of other things I could say but I'll stop now.  I hope this wasn't the most boring blog you ever read. Do you have any expectations (good or bad) for the solar eclipse on Sunday? Did you even know there was going to be a solar eclipse? Do you even care?

We'll chat next week. If you've got something to share in the meantime, you can friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter. Have a great weekend and I'll see you Monday...if we're all still here and survive any potential disasters, of course.

Do Reports of Flesh Eating Bacteria Concern You?

Photo Credit: Copeland Family

By now you've probably heard the tragic story of 24 year old Aimee Copeland, the grad student fighting an infection caused by flesh-eating bacteria.
 
Aimee was riding a homemade zip line near the Little Tallapoosa River on May 1^st when the line snapped, causing a fall that cut open her left calf. Doctors at a nearby hospital cleaned the injury and closed it with 22 staples but a bacteria called Aeromonas hydrophila burrowed deep into the wound and caused a severe infection. Aimee's left leg was amputated at the hip and she may lose her fingers and remaining foot.
 
Does this story have you concerned about contracting the bacteria yourself? If that's the case, it's always good to be aware of the symptoms: Pain which seems out of proportion to your injury, fever, chills, swelling, diarrhea, vomiting and a sunburn-like rash.
 
As a self-admitted hypochondriac (My Name is Danielle and I am a Hypochondriac) I will admit that I'm NOT worried about developing necrotizing fasciitis. 

Here's why:

1. Only 750 cases of flesh-eating bacteria are reported each year in the United States. Most are caused by a certain type of strep germ. The bacteria which caused Aimee's infection is even rarer. Only a handful of illnesses caused by that bacteria have been reported in the past few decades.
   
   
2. The people who are must susceptible to a flesh-eating infection are those who already have weak immune systems. It was recently reported that Aimee has lupus, an auto-immune disease which makes a person more likely to get infections ranging from colds to skin wounds.
   
   
3. The majority of people survive a battle with flesh-eating bacteria. Statistics show that only one out of every five people infected die (which is still terrible but somewhat encouraging.)

While the tragedy that Aimee and her family is experiencing is truly awful, it is reassuring to learn that this bacteria is not going to cause a crazy epidemic and is actually quite rare. Of course I'll be sure to check any symptoms should anyone in my family ever get a deep cut near some water and I'll be keeping Aimee and her family in my thoughts.
 
Does Aimee Copeland's injury have you concerned about getting a flesh-eating bacteria? Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.

Baseball Team Refuses to Play A Girl: Have They Disrespected All Girls?

Last week a Catholic school baseball team forfeited a championship because the opposing team had a girl on their roster.

Our Lady of Sorrows forfeited the Arizona Charter Athletic Association championship to Mesa Preparatory Academy because Mesa has a girl on their team. She is 15 year old Paige Sultzbach and she plays second base. Apparently, Our Lady of Sorrows has a policy of never playing co-ed sports and, in their view, having Paige on the roster made Mesa a co-ed team.

Photo Credit: Baseballgear.com

Yes, you read that right! In the year 2012, after decades of fighting for equality and the implementation of Title IX in 1970s, there is still a school that would rather give up a championship than play against a girl.
 

Our Lady of Sorrows is run by the U.S. Branch of the Society of SaintPius X. The group represents conservative, traditional priests who broke form the Catholic Church in the 1980s.

Although the school declined to comment, in a written statement they said that their policy was implemented to teach boys respect by not placing girls in athletic competition where “proper boundaries can only be respected with difficulty.”
 

Does Our Lady of Sorrows really believe that portraying females as strong, capable, intelligent, athletic people is wrong? Or difficult? Seriously, how is that difficult?! Life is difficult!  Get used to it!
 

Is that how we should be teaching respect for girls? What about Paige? Isn't that policy extremely disrespectful to her? To all girls? It's not like we're talking about a wrestling championship with two competitors rolling around on a mat. These kids are playing baseball, one of the least-contact sports out there. Yes, there is a chance Paige may get tagged by a boy's glove or - Gasp! - have to tag a boy herself, but I'm willing to bet she'll be just fine.
 

Of course any logical person knows the Our Lady of Sorrows mindset will not carry over in the “real world” where those boys will grow up and compete against girls for jobs, positions in graduate programs and even in trade schools. Does that school not realize that in every area of life, boys and girls are going to be competing side by side? How can we ever have equality in this country when schools are implementing and enforcing such outdated, disrespectful policies?
 

If respect is truly the issue, is Our Lady of Sorrows teaching their male students how to show respect for girls on a crowded bus? Or how to respect women in leadership positions?   I'm one hundred percent in support of teaching boys "proper boundaries" but it has to be done in a way that is relevant to the 21st century.

 

Grrrrr! This story makes me angry....and I'm already angry about high school baseball and boys/men showing respect to girls/women. I'll tell you more about that later this week in two unrelated (yet just as controversial) blogs.

What are your thoughts on this subject?  Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter. 

Justin Bieber Graduation Tweets: Am I Old Fashioned Or Are They Inappropriate?

If you have kids over age 12, you probably don't pay much attention to Justin Bieber. No one in my house knows his favorite color or his favorite food or other miscellaneous trivia about the Biebs and the risk of sounding uncool, I can't even name one song that he sings.

I do know that Justin recently finished high school. That alone didn't catch my attention. What did was the response on Twitter where “tweens” were discussing the types of graduation gifts the singer should receive. (Umm...the kid already owns the Batmobile. What else could he possibly want?!) 

The gift ideas - which are listed under the hashtag “#BieberGraduationGifts” - are not what you would expect.

Photo Credit: Dos LA

If you're curious, take a peak and you'll see what I'm talking about: Hundreds of cringe-worthy, mean-spirited, crude responses. Most of them are so inappropriate, they're not fit to print here, in a blog that openly talks about sex, sex toys, menopause and other sensitive subjects.

And that's not all.

Apparently hoards of young girls have been offering up their virginity, their clitoris and some purple condoms to the pop star as a graduation gift. (And don't even get me started on the Justin Bieber tattoos!)

Yikes!

Call me old fashioned or a prude or totally out of it - the majority of those tweets have gone way too far.

Do these kids not realize that their responses are completely public because HELLO!...that's what “social media” is. Have they forgotten that their tweets are out there forever (unless they come to their senses and delete them) for anyone to see?

I totally understand that pre-teens and teens can be naïve when it comes to posting on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. Most don't think more than a few minutes into the future and hardly any consider the consequences of their behavior...so I have to ask:  Where are their parents?

Perhaps they aren't currently following their kids on Twitter, or maybe they don't feel the need to cyber-stalk their off-spring. How much privacy you give your children and how much a parent should “snoop” is a controversial and hotly debated topic and a personal decision.

But social media has brought a new dimension to parenting - one that didn't exist a decade ago - and after reading those tweets, I can't help but think that some parents need to pay more attention to what their kids are doing online.  (Yes, I know some of those tweets could have been posted by "older" people.  That's equally disturbing and a subject we'll save for another day.)

In our house, my son Justin didn't even have a Facebook or Twitter account until he was 17 years old.  Not because we forbid it, but because he was busy doing so many other things (playing outside, playing sports, actually spending time with his friends in person and not online) that he wasn't interested in the social media world until he got a smartphone.

And just to be clear, I'm not saying having a social media account as a tween or sending your love to Justin Bieber via computer is wrong.  What I am saying is that some parents need to take a closer look at what their kids are saying and doing online.

How old was your son or daughter when they opened a Facebook or Twitter account? How much do you monitor their online activity? Have you ever discovered anything inappropriate on any of your child's social media accounts? What do you think of the Biebs?

(Justin Bieber fans may enjoy these pictures of  Justin Bieber and His Celeb Peeps and Justin Bieber Growing Up.

Don't be afraid to share your opinion, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with mine. Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.
 

10 Mother's Day Gifts That Will Kill Your Sex Life

Husbands and significant others, I'm speaking to you today!

This is just a friendly reminder that Mother's Day is right around the corner and a thoughtful gift would be much appreciated.

Remember, I said thoughtful.

That means unless the overworked, unpaid, sleep deprived, cook, cleaning woman, laundry lady, chauffeur, travel agent, personal assistant mother of your children specifically requests one of the gifts listed below, do not even consider giving any of them to her on Mother's Day.

Doing so could result in you not having sex for a long, long time.

Find me a woman who doesn't think this is HOT!

A puppy or kitten – Giving her something she'll have to walk, feed, potty train and hear whining in the middle of the night is a bad idea. Think about it. It would be just like giving her another kid.

#1 Mom printed on anything – That means no tee shirts, mugs, aprons, pencils or pencil frames. Why? Because that stuff can be tacky and moms all over the world already have a boat load of it around the house, in closets and - dare I say - in the Yard Sale pile.

An Apron – We know you have the best of intentions and while an apron is very useful, the implied message is “Now get to work in the kitchen.”

Something you secretly desire – Consider lawn mowers, weed whackers, chain saws and other shiny, noise-making, man-loving gifts off limits. Put them on your own Father's Day wish list.

A Mother's Day brunch...with your mother – Maybe you believe that if they'd spend quality time alone together they'd get along better but trust me, Mother's Day isn't the right time to test this theory.

Anything you saw in an infomercial – The blanket with sleeves? The contraption that grows tomatoes upside down? Spray paint hair dye that covers gray? No, no and NO!

“Helpful” household appliances – Giving the mother of your children a vacuum cleaner as a gift is like your boss giving you work to take home on a weekend. If you think the house needs cleaning, do something she'll really love: Clean it.

Exercise equipment – Don't believe me on this one? Try this little test: The next time your significant other asks you if she looks fat in those pants, say “Yes.”

A fun day alone with the kids – Mom's get that every day. We love our kids and love spending time with them but on Mother's Day, give us a break. Please.

A scale – Are you kidding me? Haven't you learned anything yet?

If you're still looking for gift ideas, any mom in your life would love breakfast in bed (as long as you clean the kitchen before she she finishes eating...not just put the pans in the sink), anything homemade by you and the kids, fresh flowers, candles, a gift card to her favorite store, spa treatments, sweets, perfume, pjs and of course, jewelry.

Anyone still stumped for gift idea should check out these Last-Minute Gift Ideas for Mother's Day.

Moms, do you have anything to add?  What was the best and the worst Mother's Day gifts you ever received.  Friend me on Facebook, find me on Twitter or add your comment below.

Have a great weekend! Happy Mother's Day!

Five Ways to Reduce Your Breast Cancer Risk

This week we're celebrating Mother's Day at Life in the Middle Ages (A Few Things I'd Really Like For Mother's Day and Celebrate Mother's Day with a Mother Daughter Tea) so I thought it would be a great time to talk about breast cancer.

While October is officially known as Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we all know a woman – most  likely a mother - who has had their life changed by this disease.

Approximately one in every eight women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer at some point in their life, and one out of 35 will die from it. Even though heart disease is the leading killer of women and the most common cancer is skin cancer, those breast cancer statistics are still scary and sobering.

Do you know what you can do right now to reduce your risk? Turns out, more than you might think:

Lose weight – Being obese or just 15 to 20 pounds overweight increases your risk of developing breast cancer after menopause by allowing estrogen to continue circulating. Excess fat turns certain chemicals into estrogen in the body. Work to keep your BMI lower than 25 throughout your life.

Exercise – This doesn't mean you have to become a gym bunny or devote hours to exercise. As little as 75 minutes of brisk walking each week can drop your breast cancer risk by 18 percent. And the more you exercise, the lower your risk continues to become.

The American Cancer Association recommends 45 to 60 minutes of intentional physical activity most days of the week. (Walking through the mall and chasing your kids at the playground is not considered intentional physical activity. Hitting the gym is.) Regular exercise is also a great way to keep your weight down and further reduce your risk.

Drink less alcohol – As few as two drinks a day may increase your risk of developing breast cancer by about one and a half times.

Consider NOT taking the Pill – Your lifetime exposure has a significant influence on whether you will develop breast cancer. Lower your risk by avoiding the extra estrogen in birth control pills and hormone replacement therapy if you are past menopause.

Know your family history – While family history by itself is not a major risk factor for breast cancer, having a specific type of gene mutation is. If you have a mother, sister or aunt who has been diagnosed with the disease, considered being tested for the BRAC mutation and taking any recommended preventative steps.

Of course it's not always possible to do other things know to reduce your breast cancer risk such as breastfeeding or having children before the age of 30 (two things known to reduce lifetime estrogen exposure.) But if you're in your late 20s you may want to consider starting a family sooner rather than later and then breastfeeding your babies.

Things which WON'T raise your risk of developing breast cancer include wearing underwire bras, using antiperspirant, smoking, working a night job and having miscarriages and abortions. Research is still being conducted on what effect, if any, certain diets and vitamin use have.

Learn how much you know about breast cancer and its symptoms with this quick quiz: Breast Cancer Myth or Fact?  

Do you know a wife, mother, friend or relative who has been diagnosed with breast cancer?  Has their diagnosis inspired you to take steps to reduce your breast cancer risk? Share your thoughts. Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.

What's Your Sleeping Style: Sexy Lingerie or Cozy PJs?

Is this your sleeping style...

Don't you just love pajamas? I do. Especially because they come in a variety of styles from sexy...to not sexy at all.

I don't usually wear anything “heavy” to bed because lately I've been overheating during the night (hormones!) My typical bedtime attire consists of a tank top and flannel pants when it's colder and a tank top and cotton shorts during the warmer months.

I don't own any silky lingerie and I don't particularly care for night gowns, although I have a few soft cotton ones I got as gifts.

Anytime I wear long sleeves to bed, they have to have elastic or cuffs at the wrists because it annoys me when the sleeves ride up my arm. Same with pajama pants. They've got to have elastic or cuffs at the ankles because waking up with them bunched up at my knee is sooooo uncomfortable.

I can't sleep in socks because they make my feet hot and when my feet get hot, all of me gets hot. When I get too hot, I can't sleep. Growing up the grandmother of one of my girlfriends used to say that sleeping with socks on was sleeping with the devil so no Satan socks for me. (Has anyone heard that saying before or have any idea what it means?)

...or is this more your thing?

I'm also not one to sleep in a sexy little something - you know, lingerie. No garters and tassels or contraptions. I'm just not the sexy lingerie type, although I wish I was. Given my issues with falling asleep and staying asleep (I'm writing this post at 3 am) I'm big on comfort and don't place much (ANY!) importance on looking attractive when I go to bed.

So, enough TMI about my sleeping habits. When you go to bed, are you a lingerie wearer or a fan of footed pajamas? Or is something in between more your style?

If you're a lingerie fan, check out this little quiz: What Kind of Lingerie Are You?  

Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.

A Few Things I'd Really Like for Mother's Day

Mother’s Day is right around the corner.  Since my day (week, month…LIFE!) doesn’t ever seem to go the way I want it to, I thought I’d take control this year spell out for Bill and Justin exactly what I'd like.

Here’s my wish list:

Not to be woken up by anyone’s snoring.  There are a lot of allergies and respiratory issues in the McGinnis house but I would like to sleep in on Sunday morning and not be woken by snorts, grunts, snores, sniffles, coughs and sneezes.

Not to have to wash anyone’s clothes.  Justin is home from college for the summer and while I’m glad he’s here, I’m not fond of the 15 pounds of stinky laundry he brought with him.

Not to think about dinner.  Dinner is one of the first things I think about when I wake up in the morning.  Sometimes what I serve is greeted by cheers, sometimes it gets jeers.  On Sunday I'd like someone to cook for me…or at least order a pizza.

Not to have to drive anywhere.  That means someone else gets the oil changed in the car, picks up the groceries, drops off the packages at the post office, buys the stamps and runs the twelve thousand other errands I’m normally responsible for.  I will, however, drive to a spa.  Any spa.  Make an appoint and see how fast I get in that car.

Not to have to pick up after the anyone.  No matter how many times – or how many years – I tell Bill and Justin to pick up after themselves, they don’t.  And message to Bill, I know you read this blog:  The back of the kitchen chair is not where we hang our clothes.  There is a big space in our bedroom called a CLOSET.  Open the door next the bathroom and you’ll see it.  Because I don't want to confuse you with too much information, we'll talk about how to use hangers later.

Not to have to empty the dishwasher.  Could I have just one day off from this chore?  And if one of them could empty it without me asking it would be just heavenly!

Not having to play referee.  That means no sparring in the family room when I finally sit down at night and try to relax.  No kicking, no karate, no head slaps, no rolling around and wrestling on the floor and nothing that looks like an imitation of the Three Stooges.

Stop asking me so many questions. When I'm home, no one can think for themselves.  Where's my other shoe?  Why does the TV have static?  What's for dinner?  Do we have any milk?  Come on people!  Find your own darn shoe!  Call the cable company!  Plan something for dinner and open the refrigerator and look for the milk!

Not be nagged when I finish the cookies.  I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I exercise every day and I eat right.  My only vice is sugar.  I love sugar and I especially love cookies.  Everyone in my house knows that.  I’d really like one day when I can eat as many freakin’ cookies as I’d like without someone saying “Where are all the cookies?” or “Did you eat ALL the cookies?”  And if a person who is not me would go to the grocery store and buy those cookies, that would be great.

Speaking of food, it would be awesome if I could eat something without two people leaning over me asking for a bite!

What do you really want for Mother’s Day?  Do you have any special requests or secret desire?  Have you ever received one of these The Worst Mother's Day Gifts?