Late last winter Bill
and I were approached by a coach for a local baseball team (I’ll call him Tim) asking
if Justin would be interested in playing for him this summer. At that point, Justin had already committed
to playing for a team in Youngstown, OH – where he had been playing summer
baseball for the past four years.
Justin loves baseball, wants to play as much as possible and said he would be interested in playing for Tim on his off days. So Bill called Tim explained that Justin wanted to play for him but
could only be a part time player because of a prior team commitment. Then he asked
the obvious questions: Would that be a
problem? Tim said no. Would he start and play Justin even though
he wouldn’t be at every game? Tim said
yes.
We asked those
questions because we wanted to make sure Tim had a clear understanding of the
situation and also because Bill and I were not going to pay $150 for Justin to
travel to games and sit on the bench.
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| 2005 - I'm still wearing the same hairstyle...and clothes! |
About a week later
Bill went through Justin’s Youngstown schedule with Tim and outlined which games
Justin could and couldn’t attend, once again, making sure that Tim had a
clear understanding of the situation.
Justin played a few
games for Tim at the start of the season and a few tournament games
over Memorial Day weekend and then his Youngstown team started playing and he
missed a week or so on Tim’s team. But,
of course, Tim knew about this beforehand.
When Justin returned
to Tim's team for the next game he was told he would “Only be running the
bases from now on” because Tim “Didn’t want the parents of the kids who came to
all the games complaining.”
Justin, of course,
was upset to hear this. Especially because we had discussed the situation with
Tim, then discussed it again…and then discussed it again and were REPEATEDLY
ASSURED that Justin would start and play in the games he attended.
That same day, Tim's team played a team that didn’t have enough players. Because they
traveled a long distance and all the kids wanted to play baseball, our team
agreed to “loan” them two players. One
of the players loaned was Justin. Justin
wasn’t upset about having to play on the opposing team. He was just happy for the opportunity to play.
He was put in left
field and another one of Tim's other players was put in right field on the opposing
team. A few innings into the game, we noticed something odd. The right fielder was continually being
rotated back into Tim's team and replaced with another player, meaning they played one inning for the opposing
team and the rest of the game for their own team. Justin was never rotated out and was left
playing for the opposing team for the entire game.
When the game ended, Justin was FURIOUS! He kept his cool until
we got into the parking lot and then he exploded, which is an odd thing for a kid who is always calm.
Everyone else played
one inning for the opposing team but he never rotated me out!
Before the game he
told me I was only going to run for the pitchers for the rest of the season!
He said I wouldn't bat, play the field or start because he was afraid the other parents would complain!
Tim doesn’t treat me like I’m part of the team!
I was shocked to hear
this, especially because Bill, Tim and I DISCUSSED THIS ISSUE SEVERAL TIMES
BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED!! I told Justin
to calm down, go home and I would talk
to the Tim, who was still at the field.
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| Photo Credit: Missy Emerick |
I related everything
Justin told me to Tim. I wasn’t confrontational. It was more of a “I’m kind
of confused by the conflicting stories I’m hearing” situation. When I was done
Tim smiled sweetly and insisted (INSISTED!) that he only needed Justin to run
in this particular game for the pitcher and that "it wouldn’t happen again." (Those were his exact words.) I asked him about parents
complaining and he said, “No. No one complained.”
While the "run for the pitcher" statement didn’t make sense to me, Tim was so
convincing, I believed what he said and didn't question him. Why would he
lie?
But I still drove home confused.
Why would Tim tell Justin one thing and then tell me something completely different? Did
Justin somehow misunderstand him before the game?
Once home I told Justin Tim's explanation. Justin listened and then said “That’s not at all what he told me. He said I wasn’t going
to start or play anymore and I was only going run because he was afraid parents would complain." I did some insisting
on my own: Tim wouldn’t lie like that.
Dad talked to him about this several times before the season started. He just assured me it was only this one time. Don’t worry, you’ll play.
Wrong, wrong and wrong.
Earlier this week
Justin went to a game and (BIG SURPRISE!) learned he was not batting, not
playing the field and only running the bases.
Bill and I sat in the sidelines and cheered on the team. After we were home, the three of us discussed why Justin was benched and what Tim had said to him before the game.
Once Bill felt he
clearly understood Justin’s version of the story, he called Tim to learn his
version. (Bill has his faults but if he is anything, it’s analytical. He doesn’t pass judgment or
accuse until he has all the facts -- especially when it comes to baseball.)
Almost immediately
Tim admitted to Bill that his philosophy is to play the kids who come to all
the games and bench the ones who don’t.
Uhhhh….okay. When was that decided?
Tim said that’s
ALWAYS been his philosophy!
What?! Are you
freaking kidding me? Why didn’t that come up during one of the 27,000
conversations we had on playing time? Why didn't he mention that when I talked to him the
last time he benched Justin? Why didn't he mention it when we specifically
asked him BEFORE paying $150 for the “privilege” of playing on his team?
The answers to those
questions were a lot of stalling and attempts to change the subject. (Sorry
dude. No subject changes allowed. You’ve got some explaining to do!) Finally he
said, “I’m afraid the other kids will quit if Justin gets playing time.”
What? Quit? Who?
Where would they go? Our community isn’t exactly brimming with baseball organizations.
Even if it was, no team is taking on new players this late in the season. Are
some kids and their parents really that petty? Didn’t Justin pay $150 just
like everyone else? Weren’t we completely upfront about his part time status
from the beginning? Didn’t we ask several times if it would be a problem? Didn’t Tim ASSURE US SEVERAL TIMES THAT IT WASN’T?!
By the end of the
conversation – which wasn’t heated or angry – it was decided that Justin would
no longer “play” for Tim’s team and we would have our $150 registration fee
returned because Tim had not been honest
upfront with us.
Grrrrr! Writing that
makes me angry! Here’s why:
- Lying is stupid and
ridiculous and disrespectful and you don’t expect a baseball coach, who happens
to be the President of the high school boosters organization, to be doing it...repeatedly.
- We were completely
honest with Tim about Justin’s part time status. We discussed it with him BEFORE
Justin agreed to play on his team and BEFORE forking over the registration fee so we could avoid this exact situation!
- We expected honesty
in return. Was that too much to expect? Apparently so.
- He lied (LIED!) when I asked him what the deal was the first time Justin was benched and denied ever telling Justin that he would no longer be playing. Later he admitted to Bill that he HAD said that to Justin. Clearly,
honesty is not this guy’s strong point.
If you are not
familiar with baseball, there are two ways to run a team:
Method 1: Play the kids who
come to all the practices and games regardless of skill level.
Method 2: Put the best kids on
the field regardless of how many games they attend.
There is nothing
wrong with either method. The non-competitive recreational leagues usually use
Method 1 while the more competitive leagues use Method 2. Clearly Tim is running his team based on
Method 1 and that’s fine. I totally get that but COME ON, be honest about it
when you’re asked! Not knowing him beforehand, we had no idea what his coaching style was.
On a side note - and I
have to say this because this is the internet and people often misunderstand
what you’re saying because they don’t read things clearly - I’m not implying
that Justin was the best kid on Tim’s team or that he should have been playing because
he was better than the other kids.
Let me also add that Justin has been benched
plenty of times in the past while on other teams because other kids
were better players. We're good with that and never complained because Bill and
I believe that’s how a kid learns to dig deeper, try harder and become a better
player.
This was clearly a
different situation.
What are your
thoughts on this situation? Have you ever encountered anything like this
before? How did you handle it? Friend me on Facebook or find me on Twitter.
PS - Bill has coached
baseball for 15 years and uses Method 2. He has always been upfront about that with
the parents and players and makes sure everyone understands
his coaching style. In those 15 years, only ONE parent complained to him and NO ONE ever quit his team. A little honesty goes a long way. Just sayin...
