It’s Thursday morning! Time for a Honey Boo Boo recap.
Last night’s episode focused on pageants, pregnancy and poop in a can. Gag! For “fun” let’s see how many times we gag running through the most noteworthy scenes and nauseating one-liners.
The show picked up with Honey and family rushing to the hospital after big sister Chickadee (aka Anna) experienced early pregnancy contractions. Chickadee spends the night in the hospital and described her pain as “going through her “vajayjay.”
|Photo Credit: Eonline.com|
After Chickadee returns home to bed rest, Alana starts asking questions about previous tummy conditions and telling us “When my belly hurts, it’s usually gas or too many chicken nuggets.” Gag! Now I’ll forever associate chicken nuggets with that kid farting.
Honey Boo Boo then announces that she wants to have a family one day. Like a very big family. “I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands.”
Surely I wasn’t the only person watching, shaking my head thinking, “No, God, no, no, no. Please! No!”
The next day is the final weigh in and the family hauls the scale into the kitchen so Pumpkin (aka Lauryn), Chubbs (Jessica) and Mama (June) can take their turns. While Pumpkin gained eight pounds, Jessica lost three pounds and June lost one. No gagging at this scene, just amazement that some weight was miraculously lost.
For all their “efforts” to eat right that week, Mama treats the girls to a day at the water park. There is some chuckling when June gets stuck in her tube and Alana states the obvious by announcing “This life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon.” With some prodding, June peels off her sock and shows off her “forklift foot.” Did you look? I did. It looked like a giant ingrown toenail. Gross! Gag! Even grosser, were all the bugs flying around it.
Back home June preps Alana for the upcoming Rock Star pageant by spraying her stomach with tanning lotion and telling her to “make sure you show your pretty tanned belly to the judges.” As Alana is getting sprayed, she tells us that “Spray tan is like poop in a can" and I realize that it kind of is. Gag! Like the chicken nuggets, in my mind spray tan will now forever be associated with feces.
June tells us that the Rock Star pageant is a “practice pageant” to prepare Honey for the BIG competitions. It is also her first pageant with a new coach and dress and there are few hiccups, like when her skirt falls off before she goes on stage and when she has a hard time remembering her Elvis routine.
By this point I was thinking Sugar Bear served no purpose except to roll his eyes at the ridiculous things Honey Boo Boo said. But just before she bounded on stage, he gave her a little pep talk and added “I like going to the pageants. I love watching her perform.”
Despite of Mama’s distractions (Smoochie! Smoochie!) Alana wins over the judges and is crowned the Queen in her age division. Although she is not named Rock Star Grand Supreme, she manages to keep a positive outlook saying, “If you’re a champion, you’re still a winner.”
Oh for sure. They’re all winners, don't you think?